Published on October 15, 2025 • Last updated 26 minutes ago • 2-minute read
Join the conversation: A woman feels betrayed after discovering her sister is dating her ex. Photo by stock photo / Getty Images. Reviews and recommendations are impartial, and products are chosen independently. Postmedia may earn an affiliate commission from purchases made through links on this page.
DEAR ABBY: Eight years ago, I ended my engagement with my fiancé of 30 years, “Anthony,” after he falsely accused me of infidelity, which I did not commit. Throughout our relationship, he consistently hurt and belittled me, driven by his insecurities and suspicions. Despite our breakup, he remains connected to my family through my daughter and grandsons, which I find distressing.
I now live across the country and recently visited my family. Coincidentally, my niece’s 40th birthday party was that Saturday, and I surprised everyone with my visit. However, the real shock came when we sat down for dinner. One of my sisters (my niece’s other aunt) turned to me and said, “I need to tell you something, and I don’t want to hear any objections. Anthony and I are in a relationship.” You can imagine my reaction. Not only did she spoil my niece’s birthday celebration, but I also feel deeply betrayed by her. I’ve reached out to her via text and email to express my feelings, but she hasn’t responded. At this point, I have no desire to communicate with her or maintain any relationship. I suspect she is motivated by his financial status, but it’s simply wrong to date your sister’s ex, as it violates the “sister code.” What do you suggest I do in this situation? — BETRAYED SIS IN WYOMING
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DEAR BETRAYED SIS: You may have had the longest engagement in history. I wish your sister better luck in her “relationship” than you had, because if your ex is as you described, she’s going to need it. If you believe she has breached a “sister code,” it seems that when money is involved, that code becomes irrelevant.
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DEAR ABBY: My wife of eight years is from Africa, and we have a 1-year-old daughter. I am white.